powerburial:

getting random sharp pain in your organs is a lot like when your check engine light comes on in your car. you dont know what it means so you just ignore it and hope you dont blow up

(via patientlights)

syrup-bender:

arahir:

god my neighbor just called me and she’s like… is this your chicken in our driveway… like who else has a chicken in this neighborhood yes it’s my chicken… so i get over there and kylo hen is chilling in their driveway eating some specs and stuff and there’s this actual crowd of people around her and i’m like… hi sorry mb let me get her… and oh my god… they’re like do you need us to call someone?? should we get help?? how should we do this?? do you need a net? like bitch it’s a chicken not a fucking komodo dragon. so i just… i was kind of joking around so i crouched down and patted my thighs and all the chickens are trained to come to me on sight because me = food… so i got down there and went “here girl!! come here!!” and the chicken comes running over and this group of actual adult ass individuals were staring at me like i was the fucking pied piper… and i didn’t know what to say…. so i just kind of walked back to my yard with the chicken following me and none of them moved or said a damn word and i think i literally just convinced them this chicken is trained like a dog…

your chicken’s name is kylo hen

(via dieforyouinsecret)

clodiuspulcher:

all my teachers in high school: college will be INFINITELY harder than high school, they will show you NO mercy
my professor for my senior-level immunology class: 

(via confirmance)

afro-elf:

do you remember the first time you heard take me to church and you felt your skin melt off your body?

(via tallandsad)

striders:

catch me in target lusting after kitchenware like a 45 year old mother of three

(via itsagifnotagif)

epiphanypaige:

annehairball:

epiphanypaige:

who would win? matilda or eleven

they’d become best friends

you know what youre absolutely right

(via trust)

that-one-irish-idiot:

bravadopinfire:

shieldposts:

Me: *shows basic human decency to cashier

Cashier: ??!?! Thank you! You’re the nicest person ever!

Me: are you ok

Reblog if politeness to retail and service workers is important to you.

honestly 

(via heart)